Even if you’re convinced that a prenuptial agreement is a must, your partner may not feel the same way. And for this reason, discussing the creation of a prenup before your wedding is easier said than done.

When the time comes to discuss a prenuptial agreement with your partner, there are many steps you can take to ease the tension and reduce the likelihood of harming your relationship.

  • Give yourself time: A prenuptial agreement is something you create before you tie the knot, so make sure you leave enough time in your schedule to talk through the details and formalize your agreement. For example, there’s a big difference between creating a prenuptial agreement in six months and one month.
  • Don’t issue demands: If you become forceful, such as by telling your partner they have to agree to a certain condition, it’s going to push them away. When you decide on the terms together, it’s easier to smoothly move through the process.
  • Be honest: Don’t hide your true feelings about why you want to create a prenuptial agreement or what you want out of it. When you’re honest, you don’t have to worry about something coming back to haunt you in the future.
  • Listen: Don’t do all the talking. Sit back and listen to what your partner is saying. Maybe they have questions about the process and what it means to your marriage. Or maybe they have concerns about some of the terms you want to include. You learn a lot when you listen.
  • Take time away from the conversation: When you leave yourself enough time to create a prenuptial agreement, you don’t have to cram everything into the same conversation. You can step away when tensions begin to rise and then revisit the discussion as time allows.

When you take these steps, it’s easier to ask for a prenuptial agreement without causing harm to your relationship. This doesn’t mean everything will go smoothly, but you’re at least positioning yourself for a productive and meaningful conversation.

Once you’re on the same page about creating a prenuptial agreement, you can talk through the terms and conditions and then take the steps necessary to make it legally binding.